A Little Respect Goes a Long Way
By Stephanie Lin (Stuyvesant High School)
It’s intimidating, walking into a new school. You meet new people and make new friends, but it’s a
whole different atmosphere. Especially, if it’s high school. It’s all made worse by the fact that you’re also
taking a new language. For me, I was nervous, but at the same time, really excited by the prospect of
learning Japanese. It seemed like such an elegant language, with its complicated stroke order and many
different pronunciations. As I walked into my Japanese classroom, I was greeted by a graceful woman in a
cardigan with her hair slicked back into a ponytail. “Hajimemashite,” she said as she bowed. I looked
around nervously, hoping that the other pairs of eyes that were staring at me from the desks in the
classroom could help, but they all returned with blank stares. I blushed, gave a quick bow, and ran to sit
down in a seat.

It was later on that I learned that it was completely natural, what she did. It was a standard in Japan
for people to bow when meeting one another. It symbolized respect. We were taught how to bow properly,
and “Kiritsu, Rei, Ohayou Gozaimasu!” became part of everyday class. At first, it felt unnatural, but it
gradually became a routine I was proud to participate in. It was different from our New York lifestyle,
where people bump into you and walk away without apologizing. As I continued learning Japanese, I also
learned more and more about their culture. Respect is such a big part of their lifestyle. Whether it’s bowing
or taking off shoes before entering a building, it all goes back to respect. Punctuality is important,
prolonged eye contact is rude, nodding is imperative; my head swirled with all the formalities and customs
of their culture. But at the same time, it was remarkable. The culture puts so much emphasis on respect and
responsibility; it wasn’t shocking to find out that their crime rate is lower than the crime rate in all other
developed countries.

It really put things in perspective. How had I treated my mother that morning? It probably involved
yelling at her and complaining. In retrospect, I was ashamed. How could I have treated my own mother that
way? My mother, who moved from Taiwan just to give us a better life. My mother, who sacrificed
everything for my sister and me. I would do everything to make sure I treated her better from then on. I
would do everything to make sure I treated everyone better. I would come to school with a smile on my
face. I would respect my teachers. I would respect my family and friends. New Yorkers might be a little
rude, but if Japanese people could live with such an emphasis on respect, I could try it as well.

As I became immersed in the language during class, I also tried to incorporate more and more of their
customs into my life. Nodding is natural; it shows that you are paying attention to the speaker. I started to
listen to my friends and family more, instead of talking about myself. I took modesty and being humble
more seriously, as it is a polite response to a compliment in Japanese culture. Respecting personal space
became a must if I did not know a person well. Politeness and respect are very important to others, but in
the end, it is important to learn how to treat people nicely for your own benefit. I became happier, I felt that
my relationships with people became better, and ultimately, I felt more satisfied with life. It was amazing.

Every day as I say, “Kiritsu, Rei, Sayounara, mata ashita,” to my sensei, a wave of gratitude washes over
me. She introduced me to such an incredible lifestyle and culture.

As it is, a little respect here and there goes a long way.

Works Cited
“Japan - Cultural Etiquette - E Diplomat.” Japan - Cultural Etiquette - E Diplomat. EDiplomat, n.d. Web.

01 Jan. 2014.

“Social Conventions.” Japanese Manners & Cultural Norms. Inside Japan Tours, n.d. Web. 01 Jan. 2014.

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